Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Waddling along

Something changed in the last day or so.

The waddle is in full swing. My steps are small and slow. I almost want to take a video of me walking just to have it for posterity.

My lungs are more than cramped. I felt winded all day today. In talking to patrons at the library I had moments where I felt I didn't have the breath for my usual spiel. Forget "everything in moderation", now it's "everything in slow motion."

People are noticing. My coworkers like joking about it because I used to walk quickly everywhere I went, as if there were fires to put out. I think it's funny too - and especially funny how I've accepted my new body's limits without too much mental strain.

All this put me in the mood to delegate today. I am starting to peel off the layers of duties I've accumulated at my job over the years and hand them off. For instance, when I had to face a weekly task that involves much stooping down to low shelves today, I turned to a coworker and passed it on. I had thought I could continue to do this for a while yet, but today has disproven that. Check, another thing off my list. No guilt or worry involved, everyone can pick up the slack, because I sure as heck can't. Thankfully, my awesome coworkers are ready to catch all that I drop.

Sure, I'm not the person I was 6 months ago, or even 2 months ago. I'm not supposed to be, and I know it. Being restrained like this is practically an out-of-body experience. I see myself sauntering down hallways I used to speed through...and it feels normal. Much like how in a dream one would accept walking through a river of chocolate pudding.

Speaking of dreams - my vivid dreaming made a comeback. Last night I had a complete dream involving NASA's recent discovery of water on the moon, involving drilling for water, creating robot-run farming, encasing the moon in an envelope of air and establishing a human utopia there. When I woke up, I had to work to convince myself that moving there wasn't an option for us and our new baby. (With geeky sci-fi dreams like that, maybe the name should be "Tiberius" after all.)

Anyway, my tiredness and generally wheezy disposition come at an annoying time. Tonight we attend our first childbirth class, put on by the hospital. I'm excited to see what their procedures are and get that much closer to a delivery room mindset. Older friends and family assume it's a Lamaze class, younger ones ask what methodology they use, and while I'm sure it's a combination of things, I have to admit that I don't know exactly and we'll have to see.

At least it will involve lots of sitting down, which I could use.

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