Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Emotions

First, some unfinished business. Looks like the emails didn't give the links to the videos in my last post. Click below:

At the hospital
At home

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Three days before Theo was born, a good friend emailed me with an idea for my blog. She said that my posts involved all kinds of practical necessities, but that I hadn't talked much about the emotional preparation leading up to having a baby. At the time, I thought about blogging more about leaving my job, because that decision grew directly out of a commitment to my emotional focus. Other than that, I couldn't come up with a way to prepare emotionally before the actual birth. As everyone says, nothing really can prepare you, and once it happens, things fall into place. At least, I hoped so.

From this side of the great divide, I can honestly say that while we knew what to expect in terms of lifestyle changes, we had no idea what it would feel like to have a baby. From the moment he was handed to us, our emotional state was changed, forever.

I'm glad to say that I fell in love with him almost immediately, and that I haven't had any issues in postpartum. The first week, I did feel the loss of the belly and the life that was inside of me, but all I have to do to counteract it is look at the very real baby I have right in front of me.

I can't quantify how emotional a person I am. I will say that I didn't cry during the birth or even soon afterward, which surprised me. On the second day at the hospital I left the baby with Greg for the first time and went for a walk. I had been a complete shut-in since the birth and needed to get some air. It was a perfect day for it - blue skies, slightly crisp breeze. When I got around to the back of the complex and saw the parking structure, I thought about our car, waiting in the structure, its car seat installed and ready to take our baby home with us. By the time I got back to the room with my husband and son inside, I was a sobbing mess.

Seems to me that being in the eye of the hurricane and simply doing what needed to be done had been keeping me from reflecting on things. Once I had a bit of distance from the situation, it didn't take much to set me off. Since then, the smallest things can put me in happy tears. I don't know if it can truly be attributed to hormones. Seems to me that such a life-altering event should be reason enough to experience hair-trigger mood changes.

That, plus the most intense sleep deprivation I've ever experienced.

Friday, January 22, 2010

FINALLY

Apologies, apologies!

As I was in no shape to blog soon after the delivery, and the news spread through other media, I left this site to concentrate on more important things.

When I did get back here I began constructing a detailed birth story, which is still only half done. It's been hard to spend time on it.

Meanwhile, I'm missing out on telling you all about the fun we've been having these last 2 weeks. Waiting for the overly long birth story to finish itself is frustrating and no fun at all.

So, fresh start. I'm going to leave the birth story for later. If enough people comment that that's what they want, perhaps I'll work on it more. But for now, here are some adorable shots and even more adorable video.















I'll be back soon with real updates.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

We are GO

Woke up this morning at 3:20am with contractions. Hung out in bed for a while. Got up about 3:45am to read and bam, my water broke. Woke up Greg, packed some last minute things, fed the rabbits and got in the car.

It's now 7 am and things are going well. No matter what, we are having a baby today. =)

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Test 1

I'm testing a new way to post things from my phone...testing, testing.