Back to reality

There's some new pics and video here.
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In the six weeks since Theo's birth, Greg and I have been on vacation, hanging around at home, figuring out the needs of a newborn, and the needs of parents of a newborn. Greg went back to work a week ago and it's definitely weird without him. So THIS is how it's going to be, moving forward.

It's interesting trying to get chores and errands done within Theo's requirements. Now, I can't just hand him off to someone when I need my hands, or leave him at home when it's time to go out. I take showers with the monitor in the bathroom. I keep hearing phantom crying in the drone of the bathroom fan and drumming of the shower but the monitor shows me he's asleep the entire time.

I did a full market run with Theo in tow and I have to say, I was pretty proud of it. One of my bigger fears is him melting down in public and me not able to handle it without bailing. I tried to have him asleep by the time we got there but he was cranky when we arrived. It took a few laps in the shopping cart outside the market to get him to sleep, and from then on, I just had to keep the cart moving to keep him napping. At one point he roused a little and a few laps in the bread aisle got him to settle again. Go, mom, go!

I cooked dinner nearly every night last week and plan to do the same going forward. This may not sound like much but for me it's a triumph. Greg used to be the chef around here. I mean "plan" literally, as meal planning and shopping for a full week at a time is the only way I can stay on track.

I didn't realize how little I would get done in one day. Between his feedings and doing the basics of cooking, cleaning, and caring for myself (oh yeah, I have to eat too) there isn't much time for anything else. This blog post took a week to write. A big time eater is my afternoon nap, which is beyond necessary after my long nights.

In the last few days Theo has developed a routine (!) of being wakeful at around 9am for well over an hour. During this time we got the newest video you can see above, of him actually playing with purpose. He's beginning to react to the mirror, too. After his happy morning time he usually has a sleepy day and a cranky evening. His night feedings are shorter and more sleepy as well. (All trends subject to change without notice.)

His cranky periods require diligence. Feed, burp, feed, burp, diaper, feed, burp...it can go on for 2 hours or more. These marathon sessions can be exhausting. It helps if I have a bottle ready to assist, as he conks out quicker from the steady, easy flow of the bottle. It's also less wear and tear on me. When he's finally too ramped up to eat any more, we wrap him up and get him to nap. He responds very well to white noise which we try to keep as a last resort tactic.

In any case I feel I have completely given myself over to my new way of life. Waking up at odd hours and sleeping at others has stopped feeling wrong. Wrestling with him for 2 hours a day has also become routine. I continue to be amazed at human adaptation.

Theo's first Olympics

Already growing up

We celebrated Theo's 1 month birthday on Tuesday. By "celebrated", I mean that it was noticed and mentioned.

When he was born, Theo was very small in any of the newborn clothes we had ready for him.

Now, his feet are actually fitting into the footie PJs when he stretches out, and the onesies clasp snugly. He's at about 7.5 pounds now.

His size isn't the only difference a month makes. Theo's grip is improving and he's pulling my hair when he can get it. His hands seem to make it to their goals more often. Sometimes he seems to enjoy being lifted high in the air and swooped around. He is working on lifting his head and getting better at it every day.

The biggest leap just happened in the last day, as both Greg and I noticed he is beginning to smile in response to our smiles. Before now, he's had smiles that were part of facial expression montages, twitches of muscles figuring themselves out. These new ones lasted longer and don't immediately become frowns and smirks.

Ok, it's only been a couple of times, so don't expect him to smile next time you see him. I don't expect to get it on camera for a while either. One month is early for true smiling. Still, very exciting!

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BTW, I removed the links on this website to our gift registries and have replaced them with links to our photos of Theo. These links will be updated with new photos every now and then.

Here are the links for those of you who get this blog via email.
Flickr
Photobucket

All you can eat

Theo is doing fine. He showed up 3 weeks early but was in no way a preemie. Thirty-seven weeks is considered full term, and he was very nearly there. The only thing we had to keep an eye on was a mild case of jaundice, which is common among any birth, full term or not. We had a pediatrician appointment when Theo was only 3 days old to make sure this was handled. The doc (whom we immediately took a liking to) recommended small amounts of sunshine and a ramped up feeding schedule. His body gets rid of the bilirubin through diaper changes, and the more food, the more messy diapers.

Even though the jaundice is gone and he's past his birth weight, he's still a little guy and still needs his regular meals. Every two hours, we have to wake him up and get him to eat. Feedings last about an hour. During that time, the baby will feed for approximate 10 minute bursts and need burp breaks. He almost always falls back to sleep within those breaks. He's a good sleeper, and it always seems a shame to wake him. Nursing tends to put babies to sleep anyway and there are long lists of ways to keep them awake during a feeding, most of which involve annoying the baby into wakefulness. Over the last couple weeks I've figured out a rhythm to the methods. During a regular feeding, I usually have to take his clothes off, rub his stomach and back, dance him around, change his diaper (easily, the thing he hates most in the world right now), and put his clothes back on, all of which bother him just enough so he will eat. It can be frustrating, but it's necessary.

The stay-awake game can be wearying on its own, but when you got yourself up at 4 am to do so, it's a whole other world of weary. The pediatrician has cleared him to sleep up to 4 hours at time at night but Theo's internal clock is set at 2.5 hours maximum. Doesn't matter if it's a noisy room or a quiet room, morning or night, he's never asleep for much longer.

As soon as a feeding is done, it's as if someone shoots a starter pistol and the clock counts down to my next feeding. If I want to go out, or do some chores, write online, or take a nap - I need to get to it. It's quite often that a simple time waster such as watching a random daytime TV rerun eats up a huge chunk of my time, preventing anything else I meant to do.

I just began using a pump and Greg is now on bottle duty for one of the nighttime feedings. Theo is having no problem switching between breast and bottle. Getting the pumping timing right is complex as well, since I need to be ready to feed him again after the 2 hours are up and it takes time to make that milk. The pumping itself is easy, though admittedly a bit strange, hooking oneself up to a milking machine.

Breastfeeding was a bit of a challenge (and still has its pitfalls) but my milk came in fine and Theo gets his nutrition, and that's what's important.

Best way to nap

Emotions

First, some unfinished business. Looks like the emails didn't give the links to the videos in my last post. Click below:

At the hospital
At home

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Three days before Theo was born, a good friend emailed me with an idea for my blog. She said that my posts involved all kinds of practical necessities, but that I hadn't talked much about the emotional preparation leading up to having a baby. At the time, I thought about blogging more about leaving my job, because that decision grew directly out of a commitment to my emotional focus. Other than that, I couldn't come up with a way to prepare emotionally before the actual birth. As everyone says, nothing really can prepare you, and once it happens, things fall into place. At least, I hoped so.

From this side of the great divide, I can honestly say that while we knew what to expect in terms of lifestyle changes, we had no idea what it would feel like to have a baby. From the moment he was handed to us, our emotional state was changed, forever.

I'm glad to say that I fell in love with him almost immediately, and that I haven't had any issues in postpartum. The first week, I did feel the loss of the belly and the life that was inside of me, but all I have to do to counteract it is look at the very real baby I have right in front of me.

I can't quantify how emotional a person I am. I will say that I didn't cry during the birth or even soon afterward, which surprised me. On the second day at the hospital I left the baby with Greg for the first time and went for a walk. I had been a complete shut-in since the birth and needed to get some air. It was a perfect day for it - blue skies, slightly crisp breeze. When I got around to the back of the complex and saw the parking structure, I thought about our car, waiting in the structure, its car seat installed and ready to take our baby home with us. By the time I got back to the room with my husband and son inside, I was a sobbing mess.

Seems to me that being in the eye of the hurricane and simply doing what needed to be done had been keeping me from reflecting on things. Once I had a bit of distance from the situation, it didn't take much to set me off. Since then, the smallest things can put me in happy tears. I don't know if it can truly be attributed to hormones. Seems to me that such a life-altering event should be reason enough to experience hair-trigger mood changes.

That, plus the most intense sleep deprivation I've ever experienced.

FINALLY

Apologies, apologies!

As I was in no shape to blog soon after the delivery, and the news spread through other media, I left this site to concentrate on more important things.

When I did get back here I began constructing a detailed birth story, which is still only half done. It's been hard to spend time on it.

Meanwhile, I'm missing out on telling you all about the fun we've been having these last 2 weeks. Waiting for the overly long birth story to finish itself is frustrating and no fun at all.

So, fresh start. I'm going to leave the birth story for later. If enough people comment that that's what they want, perhaps I'll work on it more. But for now, here are some adorable shots and even more adorable video.















I'll be back soon with real updates.

We are GO

Woke up this morning at 3:20am with contractions. Hung out in bed for a while. Got up about 3:45am to read and bam, my water broke. Woke up Greg, packed some last minute things, fed the rabbits and got in the car.

It's now 7 am and things are going well. No matter what, we are having a baby today. =)

Test 1

I'm testing a new way to post things from my phone...testing, testing.

Nursery, Sweet Nursery

It's done.

Well, ok, there's more to do. I have a feeling there will always be more to do. Greg and I decided it was a good time to clean up the room and show off all we've done.

First:

The closet before.
What a waste of space.
Check out the bend in that shelf.
Room color and blinds before.

Now that you're sufficiently prepared - Here's a video tour of the room. Why yes, I work without a script.

We put a bunch of the gifts in the room but if you don't see yours, don't fret. We've still got lots of other items stashed elsewhere. As there's more to do, we don't want to fill the room just yet.

I did say this in the video but I think I should repeat it. After shooting the video we removed the bumpers and blanket from the crib, and we will get those swing tags removed from the stuffed animals etc before baby gets a hold of them.

The lighting in the room isn't great right now, and during the day it looks completely different.

Here are some stills:

New closet 1
New closet 2
Crib and alphabet cards

When Greg painted each of these boxes for the closet, he left behind an abstract creation, which seems to show the colors better than anything else.

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I can't say this enough - Greg deserves the vast majority of the credit. He did all the design and carpentry, all the heavy lifting, all the painting. I helped where I could with putting furniture together etc but he still did nearly all of it. He's still the best husband ever, and I know our kid will appreciate him as a dad.

I have to give thanks to Jenn Ski, who provided much needed inspiration.

And many, many thanks to those who've showered us with gifts, from registry items to your own inspirations, from gift cards to cash. You're helping us tremendously.

I was going to write about baby showers but I still have two more to go. Maybe I'll save that wrap-up for afterward.

I will say that even though I knew we'd need a lot of things, I am still surprised to see how much we need even after 3 very generous showers. Don't get me wrong, everything we've gotten so far is dearly needed, from clothing to toys to gadgets to larger items. Looks like the gift cards we've received will prove very useful, very quickly.

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I've had a cold for nearly a week now and it's driving me crazy. I can't take anything for it except hot tea (usually decaf with honey and lemon), throat lozenges, and nasal spray (which you're not supposed to overuse, so that's relegated to helping me sleep). It built up slowly and has been going strong for a few days now, though I think I'm past the peak.

To those of you that celebrate it - Merry Christmas. We spent the day doing household projects. Greg got the closet that much closer to completion. It's looking great and will be DONE as of this weekend, leaving me able to get the organization part done this week during my time off. I went through the kitchen cabinets and did some sorting there, finding a surprising amount of space for the baby-related kitchen items.

Next up...packing for the hospital. We're 5 weeks away from the due date.