It's Shamu(s)!

Sea World. I hadn't been there since I was a kid, but had some really strong memories of the place. It was a pretty unique experience - and it still stands out, even among so many theme parks and zoos.

It's a place filled with stadiums. There are the obvious shows with orcas and dolphins and the less obvious ones with circus acrobatics and trained pets. Then there are the now classic, amazing exhibits that opened with such fanfare when I was younger - the Shark Encounter, the Penguin Encounter, and the more recent Turtle Reef, just to name a few. I don't think it's possible to do absolutely everything in one day, and with the limitations of young kids we focused on our must-sees very carefully.

Add in the fact that we decided to forego a stroller entirely this time, and it made for a jam packed, long haul.

Oh, there's also a Sesame Street area with lots of climbing and a few kiddie rides. We hit that first, and I'm glad we did. Zero lines, which led Theo to try a couple of spinning rides. They hadn't even started up for the day so he had no idea what he was getting into. It seems spinny rides disagree with him, no matter how many times he runs around in circles at home. That and a quick look around and we were done with Sesame Street land. Later in the day that area looked like a crowding nightmare.

Walking away from it we passed the backside of the dolphin show stadium, where you could clearly see the dolphins hanging out. When the trainers came wandering back there the dolphins immediately jumped up, trying to please them to get treats. The trainers talked to them and petted them, and it was amazing to see the relationship between them, without any glitz or story to get in the way. It's a genius move on Sea World's part to make the backstage totally transparent, letting you know that they have nothing to hide.

Theo's cousin had her heart set on riding a thrill ride so we visited Journey to Atlantis. This ride is pretty unique, as it's a water flume and a roller coaster in one. I hate to spoil any surprises here, but it takes some weirdness to make those two things mesh together. When you walk up to the exterior it's an oasis of strong themeing, and just really pretty. I'd say the ride doesn't have much story to it but the oddity of it was enough to make this ride geek gleeful. We took turns riding and watching Theo, and he got a pressed penny out of the deal. Showing up early has its no-line privileges.

When we were done there it was time for Shamu, so we made sure to get over there in time. Theo's cousin wanted some serious soak zone real estate so we split up, with us sitting at the very upper limits of splash area. While we waited they showed video of a new "Baby Shamu" being born in February of this year. I was surprised that I hadn't heard about it, but that's the thing, it's really not as big a deal as it used to be. I later learned the first Baby Shamu was born in 1985, and man, I sure do remember that. Didn't everyone have a Shamu toy or cup or shirt, when we were growing up?

They still use the name Shamu generally but no longer assign it to any one orca because in our performing set alone there were FOUR OF THEM.

I mean, think about it. You know they must have a few others, older, younger, etc. There were four of these huge monsters doing all the adorable tricks perfectly, with only the most minor of direction from the handlers. It was breathtaking.

I remember seeing it when I was younger that they did a lot of talking and educating, brought a kid out of the audience to talk to Shamu, put a mic up to Shamu so you could hear the noises it made....but they did none of that this time. This show is called One Ocean and it's supposedly about the unity of the world and its creatures but it's really orcas doing tricks. Which is totally awesome. Theo was definitely interested and entertained.

Theo's cousin got a full soaking with freezing cold water (oh yeah, they're from the deep ocean) so count me glad for not sitting there.

We had lunch, where a Night Heron decided to pull up a chair and watch us eat. The park is littered with rad sea birds looking for a handout.

I insisted we see the sea lion show as that's always a good time. And just like my childhood memory of it, at one point a performer got lazy and rebellious, which I just adore. You can definitely see the gap between the fully trained, automatic orcas and the preschooler attitude of the sea lions. They do each trick individually, whether it's waving or scooting backwards, and every step needs a reward. The show itself was cute and pretty clever with lots of pop culture references. And an adorable otter!

Afterwards we bought a tray of smelly fish to feed to some sea lions. Theo and his cousin loved this, as did the gorgeous Snowy Egret who sat inches away for a shot at a snack.

We visited Shark Encounter and Theo was definitely interested in the crazy teeth on some of them. Turtle Reef is spectacular, with some humongous turtles, including a massive one that was at least 6 feet long. Again, good amount of interest.

Greg noticed that Theo did better here in many ways we realized that Sea World has larger breaks between things. It's not a rapid fire arrangement. You have to get to the next place and there's definitely distance between. (Note: Should have gone with the stroller.) The breaks let Theo reset and be ready for more fun.

The dolphin show is called Blue Horizons and features lots of mimed story, aerialists, divers, and birds. Not enough dolphins and way too over the top cheesy. I found myself wishing for the edutainment portions. Still, dolphins, and the kids enjoyed.

We went up in the tower which is air conditioned with comfy seats and just lovely. Cousin and family went to see the performing pets, while we wandered to the dolphin encounter, where you usually get to pet and feed dolphins. At that exact moment they set up a photo op with dolphins where you wait in line to get a picture. Not our favorite thing in the world and Theo wasn't amenable anyway. Posing for photos is a bit of a sore spot, and there was no way I was gambling on a line for it. Instead we headed over to the backstage of the Shamu show where you can walk up to the glass and watch a couple of them swim in a massive tank. We got to see one jumping up and diving back down right in front of us, the water and bubbles swirling beautifully, and all without needing to get wet.

When we reunited it was at the penguin encounter, another thing that was shiny new way back when, and involves architecture that makes me feel very old indeed. We saw the adorable penguins and puffins and we were knackered, but we were right next to the arctic exhibit, so we trudged off to see a polar bear, two beautiful beluga whales, and an incredibly massive walrus, who looked for all the world like an invention of Henson's Creature Shop. Then, home.

We were so destroyed that we forgot to pick up a fridge magnet, another thing Theo loves to collect, though he did get a stuffed turtle which is adorable. I was eyeing some lovely tote bags but never committed and now wish I had. You can't find much at all in Sea World souvenirs online. Bummer.

Day three was a little rough without a stroller, and it was hard to imagine another day of walking at all, but we had the Safari Park ahead of us, and we were up for the challenge.

More later.

You belong in the zoo...

...the San Diego Zoo.

Before I continue I want to mention that Legoland exceeded my expectations. Large, varied, interesting to parents as well as young children (though I expect among teens only the most Lego-geeky would enjoy themselves). The food was good. For some reason, lines were at their worst first thing in the morning, and the loading procedures would give any theme park fan a heart attack, but it was all very forgivable after seeing Theo's glee at everything we did. They have an awesome splash zone that merits a full swimsuit, and that's what I'll bring for him next time. End review.

The one really big thing we forgot to bring with us was a stroller. It seems crazy, but I don't have it in the car all the time anymore, and it just didn't make it onto the packing list.

At Legoland we rented a stroller and it worked just fine, except that Theo's cousin was a wee bit jealous. We decided to rent a double stroller for our second day out, this time at the San Diego Zoo.

Turned out this was a genius decision. The kids loved riding together. When one wanted out, the other wanted out too, translating into more participation from Theo. There were tons of ramps and hilly parts allowing for speedy downhill runs to make the kids squeal. We covered a ton of ground and shared the duty among four adults. WIN.

We saw endless animals, too many to list, and it was endlessly fascinating, at least for us adults. Theo likes animals the same way nearly all kids do. He's not overly into them, but he enjoyed many of them, especially when you take into account the sheer number of times we said "Look, Theo! Get out of the stroller so I can pick you up! See, in the corner? See his head?" There's a point where you stop trying to get him to see the obscured or sleepy animals, and realize later that he's so full up that no, he doesn't want care about the amazing full view lions you're seeing, and that's that.

I remember as a kid having only a small appreciation for zoos. My memories involve being annoyed that animals were always hidden or asleep. I didn't care at all to look at a sleeping animal. I'm also sure that I had no appreciation for the rarity or the power of the species. You can see that same "so what, I've got all these guys in a book at home" look on Theo's face. As it is, the enclosures are so well constructed these days, you get maximum viewing, all the time, and it's pretty overwhelming.

All that said, he got a kick out of many of the exhibits. Pandas, elephants, apes and monkeys, various birds, big cats, all kinds of things caught his eye and interest for a least a little bit.

Every bit as exciting was our commitment to the penny press. We started Theo on a squished penny diet back at Disneyland and now it came to full fruition. The machines are everywhere at these parks, and in SD they're more fun, because they're operated by a manual crank. We ended up allowing two pennies per park and Theo adored every penny-squishing second, as well as the clanking keepsakes he's now got in an old Altoids tin.

We planned our day at the zoo well, and ended up at the back of the park for the Skyfari, which we called the Skyway after the long-gone Disneyland ride. The Skyfari takes you back to the entrance. Throughout the day we could see the ride above us and Theo was always mentioning it, always asking about it, and always seeming brave enough to take it on. Just like Legoland, I was surprised and optimistic, but as I said last time, it can seem like you're flipping a coin, and you never know what you'll deal with at the very last minute.

Once again he stepped up to the situation perfectly and had no qualms about getting onto the loudly banging buckets and swinging up into the sky. He loved the view, he loved being up high, he loved all of it.



Win, win, win. Baby Upgrade.

More to come.

Deeeeyaayyyygoooo!

Greg has had his heart set on an extended weekend vacation with Theo for a while now. Our date nights and weekends away from the kiddo seem few and far between, but compared to some, we do get away from parenthood fairly often. Whenever we planned another bit of babysitting we would kick around the concept of a family stay at a hotel somewhere, sometime in the future.

I have to say it wasn't at the top of my to-do list. I know I'm not awful at planning or even coping in the moment when things go awry, it's just the prior anxiety and worry that can make me less than enthusiastic. Having a three-year-old can be like flipping a coin every time you encounter new stimuli. Will he be ok with the hotel? Will he drink enough fluids on the hot days? Will he want to participate in anything, at all, never mind actually enjoying things? This kind of chaotic lifestyle makes me a wreck. It's bad enough when it's part of our predictable routine, but when everything is new, and under the pressure of having fun while the day lasts...it's exhausting just contemplating it.

We had let our Disneyland passes expire back in February because Theo had stopped enjoying the place. He had always been picky about rides, but even that short list shrank down to near nothing. Even rides he enjoyed before became a source of fear for him, and just going to the park became a full day of attempted coercion and tears.

A month ago I took Theo to the LA Natural History Museum and the Science and Industry Museum with family. Greg couldn't go as it was a weekday. Theo spent about 10 minutes completely enthralled in the amazing dinosaur exhibit, then spent the rest of the time whining and begging to go home. There were only a few other spots of interest throughout our day there - Shuttle Endeavor merited another 10 minutes - but 90% of the day was temper management.

So when Greg wanted to do four days in San Diego to hit the major attractions I was not super thrilled. We planned it way in advance and were hoping he would be up to the task by the time it rolled around. Getting closer to the date we saw some good signs from Theo, doing things he had been frightened of for the longest time - he rode the train at the mall, he stood on an escalator instead of being carried, he sat on a big kid swing and allowed himself to be pushed. I felt confident going in that we had a much better shot at a good time now than we did back in February.

I don't remember how early on in the plan we decided that bringing Greg's sister (and by extension, Theo's cousin Sadie) along, but we knew it was a good idea to make this an event to remember. Theo and Sadie get along very well, often keeping each other occupied and on track. Having other adults to lean on sounded good, and I think bringing others in can help alleviate the friction of being together constantly.

The original plan included the San Diego Zoo, the Safari Park (formerly known as the Wild Animal Park), and Sea World. After more consideration we decided to get Legoland in as well. Legoland is aimed at very young children. It won't be long before my niece grows out of their offerings, and we figured it might work well for Theo, too.

We stayed at a Comfort Inn which offered attached rooms including separate, closed door rooms for the kids - each with their own bunk bed! The kids were thrilled at the novelty and we were thrilled that they could get to bed while we stayed up a little longer.

On to the parks!

Legoland was a HUGE hit with Theo. We realized it was a good choice from the moment we drove into the parking lot and Theo started pointing out all the statues and signage. "It's made of Legos!" he said over and over, which lasted the whole day.

He was into everything we did. A slow "safari" with Lego animals; a pedal car on a rail high above the ground; a "driving school" which is a Lego version of Power Wheels. No track, all by himself, he's never used one before, now you're driving for real, would he do it?

He did, and loved it, but not as much as he loved the pirate themed Splash Battle.

He got pretty wet on this and was nothing but smiles.

This horsey ride was a biggie which went all by itself, trotting up and down, on a long rail far from us and momentarily out of sight. It also had an age 4 requirement which required a small falsehood (he's 3 and a half and I made a judgement call).

In all of these cases he looked at the rides, in action, and said "I want to do that." Then he did them. No cold feet, no hesitation, and nothing but joy during and after. We have a term for days like this: "Baby Upgrade!"

He chased the vehicles rolling around Miniland's tiny cities, and even had some appreciation for the Star Wars exhibits. The big boat ride was a predictably big hit. We had a near-perfect day and a smooth hotel check in and easy bedtime.

It was all too much to believe. Yes, it was hot, some lines were long, and there were the usual squabbles over the usual things. But the newness of the place and the challenge of the rides came effortlessly and his enjoyment was real, not forced. He was up for this adventure as much as we were, with no trace of his current stubbornness and rebellion.

To be continued.

Sense of Self

I went digging around in some old writings today and found this, which I wrote two years ago, intending to submit to some radio request for personal stories. Things have changed a bit since I wrote this, but instead of fuss with details, I'm going to let it stand. I don't think I ever published it, and it was a bit of a pick-me-up to read it today, so here you go.

---

I love going to art museums.
I photoshop for fun.
I enjoy multi-course meals with wine pairings.
I write short stories and poetry.

If you ask me to describe who I am, I think of statements like these. Most are hard-wired into my sense of self, along with “I have brown hair” and “I am 34 years old.”

These statements feel true, but when I say them aloud, I realize they have expired.

I see friends nearly every weekend.
I swear. A lot.
I attend the Coachella music festival every year.
I am ready to go anywhere in 10 minutes.

In the past year and a half, I have learned how to do without these aspects of myself. I discovered after 6 months of parenthood that most of my concepts of who I am and where I am going have become a remnant of another time and a hopeful forecast for some distant future. The list continues to grow with every passing day.

I’m the last person to leave every party.
I can dance until dawn.
I’ll crash on anyone’s couch.
I travel light.

I was ready for parenthood. I actively pursued advice from every mom I met. Everywhere I went, I heard the same reassurances: “This will change your life but it will be worth it.” “Don’t forget to make time for yourself.” “When it gets really tough, just hang in there.” I listened carefully and took their advice to heart, but it was no use. Can you warn a six-year-old about the pitfalls of college romance?

I sleep past noon on the weekends.
I don’t want to bother with gardening.
I don’t care if the place is a mess.
I almost never cook.

They said I’d be tired, but I didn’t understand that I wouldn’t get to truly sleep in for years. I knew I’d have to limit outings, but I never thought that I couldn’t visit people for lunch (naptime) or dinner (bedtime). I knew my outlook would change, but who is this person staying sober in order to leave at 11pm and get some sleep?

What I also didn’t fully understand was that in losing the freedom of independence, I gain the insight of caring for someone else. I draw on other aspects of my personality that have been lying dormant, waiting for the parenthood programming to kick in.

I can be strategic, patient, quick-thinking and perceptive.
I can be resilient in the face of countless pitfalls.
I can take screams of protest and turn them into giggles.
I can teach kindness.

It’s these new descriptors that surprise me more than anything. I miss my old social life and my carefree ways, but I like this new person I’ve become.

I love gardening in the cool of early morning.
I often sing and dance in my living room.
I take slow walks and smell the flowers.

What parenthood has taught me most of all is this:
I can, and will, adapt.

What (sometimes) Works (for me)

Huge Disclaimer Right Off The Bat: Nothing works for everyone. Every kid is different, ever parent is different. Every day is different, every moment is different. Your parenting style may differ from mine and no opinions expressed here are meant to exclude any other opinions. This blog is intended for entertainment purposes only.

Ok, I am actually going to talk about a parenting method that works for me, at least, much of the time. In parenting, a solid 60% success rate* is enough to pass on. *Success rate is arbitrary, fake, and not based on any actual studies.

I know I read this in multiple places but I can't remember where. At the very least it's not just one person's idea so I don't feel too badly in using it here without a reference. It's a generally Good Idea that has been around forever.

My son is stubborn. He's demanding. He can be very emotional. He's also smart. When he doesn't get what he wants and he feels strongly about it, he cries, like any 3 year old. Sometimes it's a real cry, emotions coming uncontrollably to the surface. Sometimes, it's a forced act, an attempt to get what he wants via either sympathy or annoyance.

In either case, we usually try what we call "Let's make a deal." Theo often says through his tears, "Mommy, make me a deal!" Yes, sometimes there is no deal to be made, but usually we can find a way to make both of us happy. It can be as simple as saying "We can go outside AFTER we eat." I'll admit, I will bring up things we have to do, just so that I can then make a "deal" with him that I intended in the first place.

Sometimes it takes more than a simple one-for-one deal. If he got whatever he wanted after every little requirement, we'd be watching vast amounts of television. As it is, we watch quite a bit, and anything I can do to keep him interested in non-screen-based activities (and, gasp, chore-based activities) the better.

Today Theo was dead set on watching TV (like every day) and I had a few small things we needed to do around the house. He seemed completely unwilling to cooperate. I was all set to have a wonderfully frustrating afternoon but then my brain kicked in. "Hey Theo, we've got a bunch of things to do! Let's make a list, and you can choose what we do first. Should I use chalk or crayons or markers?" Believe it or not, this works wonders. He stops crying. He's interested.

I make the list process as fussy as possible, as it's the process that pulls him in. He picked crayons, but he specifically wanted me to use the very large waxy painting paper, so I asked him if we could switch to markers instead. He picked the marker color, too.

"Ok, we need to water the plants." I wrote WATER in huge capital letters, spelling it out and sounding it out for him. "We need to move the laundry to the dryer." LAUNDRY. "And we need to vacuum the living room." VACUUM.

You may think that moving the laundry to the dryer isn't enough to merit its own spot, but believe me, it does. Laundry is an all-day process and each step is its own beast that Theo "helps" with. Besides, quick, unrelated tasks are the best things to put on these to-do lists.

This is the part where Theo says "Put TV on the list." I recommend we set a time to watch TV. He says "I want to watch TV at ten seventy-seven." (Ten Seventy-seven is his favorite thing to say right now whenever numbers are necessary. So I say ok, but we can't watch TV until our list is done, right? He agrees, and I and write 10 77 TV. I realized as we were talking about it that accomplishing these chores will take a while and that we will both need a break from each other when they are done, no matter what time it is. He is delighted to see his addition to the paper, especially since he can totally read "10 77 TV".

Then it's time to choose, and he is suddenly very interested in watering the plants, though that was the very thing I was trying to talk him into doing in the first place. When we get out there he wants to rake so we rake and sweep and use the dustpan, then we water with only a trickle out the hose and make mud (which he won't touch or even manipulate with tools but loves to look at) and I talk about roots and leaves and planting ideas for the spring. When we get back inside Theo gets to cross WATER off of our list. Just the crossing off is enough for him, he doesn't need stickers or anything else. Oh, and a nice serving of "thanks for helping me Theo, I really appreciate it, isn't it a nice day outside?"

LAUNDRY involves discussing the clothes as he helps shove them into the dryer ("I love my blue underwear, Mommy"), then pushing the switch that turns the light inside the dryer drum on and off a few times, then messing with the dials on top and talking about that time Theo pushed the wrong button and it made a huge scary buzzing sound. Then, aha, he gets the dryer running. (BTW the clothes are still in the dryer, many hours later. Timing before dinner did not work out. Folding that laundry is on tomorrow's schedule. It's just his clothes anyway. What did I say about laundry being an all-day process? Ok, maybe two days.)

We crossed off LAUNDRY then Theo spent forever putting 100 pieces of jigsaw puzzle right-side-up in the box, because that's what he does. Meanwhile I picked up everything else in the room. He was very proud of his puzzle tidying, as he loves getting it just right. Then he hid in the kitchen with a juice and his little rocking chair while I vacuumed. The noise of the vacuum is one of his least favorite things and you can see him wearing his stoic face as I get it done. Afterward, he jumps at the chance to unsnap the canister from our bagless vacuum and "get rid of the yuckies." He's gotten very good at all the clips involved, and puts it back when it's empty. He used to wrap the cord too but somehow he thinks that's no longer cool.

After VACUUM is crossed off, he asks for TV, and we've definitely earned it, so I put it on. And wouldn't you know it, after the show is done, he remembers to cross 10 77 TV off the list, too.

Later on I came up with another task - writing a thank you note - and as I got the materials out to get it done, I also wrote it on the list. The crossing-off really is the best part of the whole thing.



For anyone who cares...

List writing tips:

--You have to be enthusiastic. "What are you going to pick? Ooh, here's another idea!" Yeah, yeah, I often don't have the stomach for it either. But if you can get outside your inner frustration for a minute it can be totally worth it. Fake it until you make it. Man, I wish I was better at that part.

--Make sure you have a few things in mind. They can be incredibly tiny increments of things, as long as it is something that can be defined and crossed off when completed. The more finite the better. Instead of "tidy room", I'd say something like "put away puzzles". (Vacuum is a big exception as he's very used to what that entails.)

--Allow him to add one or two things to the list. I haven't successfully gotten him to come up with real tasks but he can definitely supply reward ideas.

--The list can be abandoned or taken up the next day. When we don't complete our list for whatever reason, I like to point it out to him and explain that it's fine, we did plenty for one day. Picking it up the next day can be even more exciting.


When I remember to do this trick it works surprisingly well. I'm worried overuse will sap the potency but I would love to make this a daily thing. Perhaps a slow transition? Hmm.

Donuts and Homemaking

My Mom asked me, out of the blue, to write a new post here. I haven't thought about it for a long time so when I got the request I thought, why not?

Theo just had his third birthday. Here are some photos. We've stuck to the "supply toys and balloons" method for parties and so far it has worked, though next year may require a bit more than that. Everyone had a great time.

After a doctor's appointment that went particularly well, I decided to reward Theo with a stop at a donut shop. I don't think we've ever done it before, though we have picked up donuts for a MOMS Club meeting or two. No, this was a new thing for him. He got to tap the glass at the donut he wanted (white icing with blue sprinkles), I got my usual favorite, double chocolate (sprinkles are incidental, they never seem to sell them without), I got a large milk for us to split and we sat by the window to watch the traffic go by.

My Mom was already on my mind from her request earlier but as soon as we had stepped into the place I felt the familiar flashbacks I always get in donut shops. (If I've told the story before, forgive me, I'm really not sure if I have or haven't.)

Up until I was about 5 1/2 we lived in a cute little house in Glendale. Mom stayed home with me and my baby brother who was born when I was four. We only had one car at the time which of course Dad took to work. Mom didn't have a driver's license anyway. Among my earliest memories are days where we walked to the local shops or the nearby blue mailbox. On big outing days we'd go to the Glendale Galleria, our seemingly massive local mall, all brick and late 70's architecture. I couldn't say what we bought there as I wasn't interested in that part. What I remember is that we nearly always got a treat for making the trip - either an Orange Julius or a Winchell's donut. I loved both, but when you went to Winchell's, you'd sit at one of their tables and have a good view of the Galleria clock.

And here it is. Don't you just love the internet? I was pretty fascinated by this thing.

I'd eat my devil's food donut (that's what Winchell's called chocolate with chocolate icing, no sprinkles) with a little carton of milk and Mom would have a coffee and donut and most probably get a nice mental break as I zoned out looking at the clock.

It's so different for me now, I thought to myself today as I brushed sprinkles off of Theo's shirt. I drive all over Orange County. The Galleria was a 20 minute walk each way, while pushing two kids in a stroller that wasn't designed for two. We get food at restaurants a lot and Theo knows the drill. The snack at the mall was a special treat every time.

Winchell's really was better, by the way. I'm so sorry they left our area. Every time I see a shop with that triangular sign filled in with some generic name, it makes me sad.

Even so, I still get flashbacks whenever I go into a donut shop and smell that lovely sweet smell. Just me and mom and my baby brother making our way through our day. That same feeling I get doing my stay-at-home thing with my son. That need to stop and refresh and feel good about the small accomplishments of the day. We may not frequent a particular shop or a particular snack but we do seek out that moment of rest. If there's an awesome clock or fountain or other fixture to look at, then it's just icing on the donut.

Theo turned two

Here are the few pics we got of Theo's 2nd birthday.

Where does the time go?

Photo/video links:

Here are some random shots.

Art by Theo. Theo loves putting objects into interesting combinations. He often dismantles them not too long afterward so I started taking pictures. Now, when he creates something, he comes and gets me and asks for a photo. I bet as soon as we get him his first camera he'll be doing his own mixed media photography.

Theo's garbage truck costume for Halloween. He is obsessed with watching the trucks do their thing at our condo complex. I once showed him how to fill a small box with soft toys and dump it himself. He latched onto the imitation immediately and hasn't let go. He even makes mechanical noises. I knew he wouldn't wear a big box to represent the truck and catch his "trash" but this much was plenty for him.

I hope everyone who reads this is well. Life gets in the way, you know?

Leap!

Theo made a huge mental leap this week.

Theo has understood nearly everything we say for a while now. He vocalizes, mostly with "ba" "ga" and variations thereof. This week, he's been making more of an effort to imitate.

While putting his hands in my dad's fish tanks, we got him to say "fsh" over and over. There was one distinct "Ga-pa!" when Grandpa walked in. On another day, when I repeatedly told him not to touch something, he clearly said "Don' tahch!" which nearly knocked me over. When he made blowing noises ("fffssss") to indicate bubbles, I told him he had to say "Bubbles" to get it. He switched from the hissing to "ba" much more quickly than he has before.

We've been saying words slowly with exaggerated syllables for ages. Lately I've been pointing to my mouth and Theo's mouth in turn, saying "Theo's turn", which tends to work in more physical imitations. Usually he just giggles at the prospect but now he sometimes pauses and watches carefully. It's still a rare event to get a real result but it's much more common than it was.

Moving closer to speech is not the only leap he made this weekend. It seems like a whole slew of mental operations kicked into place at once.

I can't say he's patient, but he now seems to understand that things take time. I've always attempted to tell him that his food is almost ready or that I need to find my shoes before we can go outside. The difference is that now, he might actually stop whining and waits quietly. If he's in a bad mood, forget it.

We popped outside for a walk the other day and I realized I need to jump back inside for my keys. Theo was already gesturing towards a pathway when I got his attention and told him firmly to wait right there. The second time I said it, he gestured downward and stopped wiggling. I let him out of my sight for probably 5 seconds, but still, to come back out and see him still motionless and looking expectantly for my return was quite a coup.

Just today I wanted Theo to clean up his blocks, so I told him that after we were done cleaning, we could watch his favorite show, Yo Gabba Gabba. I said it a few times to get the meaning clear to him, and then I saw the light bulb go off in his head. He then cleaned up all the blocks, one after the other, which is totally unprecedented. As he dropped the last one in the box he said "Uh Gah Gah?" He was right on track.

It's not all good news...he's begun hitting people when he gets frustrated, which we handle sternly. He's also lost another layer of gullibility. Getting Theo away from whatever he's doing for a diaper change or other unwanted intrusion is tougher all the time. I used to catch Theo off guard by saying "Hey, let's do a diaper" and then grabbed him while he paused. Now, he focuses better, and knows this trick too well.

Every time he makes one of these jumps it shows me how many levels there are to consciousness. I often said that Theo was "very aware" from the moment he was born, and he definitely was, but awareness has many facets.

Let's hope it sticks

After a year (and nearly a half, wow) we've learned that Theo's changes in behavior come and go. One week he's saying "bubble" with certainty and the next it's gone. One week he's screaming through every meal and the next he eats contentedly. For a solid month he'll greet every little girl he sees by hugging them, and the next he yells to be held when children come to play. Everything waxes and wanes and nothing lasts too long.

I've often had the experience of Theo getting into some sort of groove, long enough for us to identify that yes, this a true shift, only to have it fall apart once I actually told someone about it. "He loves those goldfish crackers." Next day, he won't touch them. "He never stacks blocks." Next day, he's putting one on top of another. By the time something has manifested long enough to be recognized and labeled and reported, he's bored with it, or ready to grow out of it, or something.

I'm not a superstitious person but I have to admit - this has made me bite my tongue about any advancements he makes, ESPECIALLY ones that are overwhelmingly helpful to me. There are other good reasons not to brag about great leaps - one, because he may not perform so well around others, and two, moms with children who have trouble in that area may not be as ecstatic as I am, which I totally understand. If I've been battling with pickiness and another kid eats everything in his path, it can be frustrating and even make me think that there's something wrong with my methods. Many moms are totally susceptible to this kind of thing and I don't mean to be a show off.

But...I think I should mention it just to prove that there's no such thing as a jinx.

Theo has been putting himself to sleep. He asks to go to bed. We put him in the crib and leave the room. He lays around contentedly with his favorite stuffed dog and falls asleep. He also sleeps through the night. His naps reliably last two hours, sometimes three.

I abstained from littering the last paragraph with exclamation points.

Sitting in a darkened room for half an hour to an hour (and sometimes more) every night waiting for him to fall asleep was one of the most torturous things I've had to do. I was always tired myself but struggled to not fall asleep so I could enjoy some evening relaxation time with Greg. I also had to go through this for his nap, where I usually did fall asleep and lose much of my free time while he slept. Add in that often he was cranky during the wait and it was pretty excruciating.

Now, my evening seems to last forever. My free time while he naps is lovely. My unbroken night's sleep is bliss. I can't emphasize what a difference this all makes, though I'm sure the moms will understand. Whenever he challenges me in other areas (and there are plenty) I try to remember how wonderful he is about sleeping.

Here's hoping this lasts. Please, please, please!

A bit late for Mother's Day.

Hi, Mom. I thought of you this morning.

Back when spring started, I began thinking about doing something in our "backyard". Something small. Not only because the "yard" is more of a "paved patio with a tiny strip of dirt on the perimeter" but because I can never remember to water plants.

Up to this point our most reliable greens-keeper has been Greg, though I can't say he's had a perfect record either. In the nearly 5 years we've been here, any major planting and potting has been due to his ambitions. After a flurry of weeding and seeding, he tries to remember to give them a drink every other day or so. When he falls out of the habit, it never occurs to me to take up the slack.

I have sometimes felt bad about it. Ok, maybe more wistful than bad. My mom has always loved getting into the garden and making it work. Some of my very earliest memories are of Mom weeding our large backyard on Oak Street, using a long screwdriver to loosen the dirt, showing me how to tug the weed gently until it comes free easily. I'd have a small screwdriver of my own, and I'm sure my attempts mostly resulted in chopped roots that became more weeds.

Mom still spends lots of time in her yard and it's always beautiful this time of year. I learned from my mom that you don't have to be a flower expert to make things pretty or enjoy the outdoors.

I may not have had as strong an inclination to do garden work, but it has been in the back of my mind, even while watering half dead potted ivy on our old apartment balcony. My parents bought us a plant stand as an housewarming gift that year. It has definitely gone underused in the decade since.

But this year I had Theo in full toddler mode, ready to assist me in getting dirty and pouring water on our sandals. We started slowly, watering our existing survivors every other day or so, early in the morning when it's still cool. As this became habit, I bought some cheap wildflower seed and a cute turtle watering can at Target. Toss in an existing flower pot and voila, we have a bit of a sprout coming up. Having built our way up to actual gardening status, I figured it was time to clear some growth and plant something for real.

So that's how I found myself in the back at 8:30 in the morning, far before the sun makes the trip over our building to fry anyone in its path. I dragged out the old bathmat I'd kept for such an occasion, to save my knees from the paving stones. I knew Theo would never let me keep the garden tools away from him, so we traded the spades and hand rake back and forth. (No sign that he would try to smash the sliding glass door or do damage to himself. He's a good kid.) No screwdriver necessary as this was a large-scale clearing of weeds and clover.

Large-scale? It really was a measly little job. I cleared about 1.5 square feet of overgrowth and attempted to get all the fiddly little roots I could. The soil is riddled with pebbles - I ended up pulling out a nice handful and could probably have done more. Then I plopped a new plant in - some sweet mint that I picked up as good bunny food (and people food).

Theo's help involved some digging and tossing of dirt, plus attempts to stab my hands with a spade, not to mention delightfully exploring the garage. He helped water (the pavement and his feet) with his little watering can and tried to move the heavy garden hose.

We were probably only out there for an hour or so. After a bath and some playing inside, Theo was wiped early and is still taking a huge afternoon nap. I think more gardening is in our future.

I know my Mom would have done a better job, but I also know that gardening isn't about neat rows and perfectly trimmed plants. It's about dirt in your fingernails and your hair pulled out of your face in a bun. It's that feeling when you stand up after working on your knees for a while. It's about watching a worm squirm back into the ground and holding still while a bee buzzes by. It's about pulling a weed and being impressed with the size of the root. It's about showing Theo all these things.

I feel very appreciative for the time I have now, and the time I had then, 30 years ago. Thanks, Mom.