I realized I didn't mention bottles in my last post. As soon as we're sure the baby is nursing ok we'll start pumping milk and using bottles. This will give Greg and others a chance to feed the baby while I get a break.
Regardless of how well breastfeeding goes, we'll be using bottles.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Breast is best
I am nearly done in my breastfeeding research. Once again I'm happy to be having a baby now instead of 15 or even 10 years ago.
It's taken a long time for breastfeeding to make a full comeback, to the point where you can find hospitals who support it fully. It sounds crazy to me, but for an entire generation of women and their babies, breastfeeding wasn't only a socially awkward option, it was also not the medically sanctioned one.
I'm sure there are still hospitals that go by the old routine - baby is born, taken to the nursery, given a bottle of formula on the nurses' schedule. It's just easier for a large institution to do things their way. They can keep closer tabs on the baby, and the formula fattens the kid up much quicker than breast milk.
I've talked to moms from my parents' generation who say that nurses talked them out of breastfeeding, and read about an era when only 20 percent or less of babies were breastfed. Even in recent years, you might have a nurse who supported breastfeeding, and a doctor who didn't - and you'd have them whispering in your ear, "don't listen to that other person, this is what you need to do."
Now, there is so much support. Our hospital's standard operating procedure involves couplet care, where the baby stays with mom the entire time, if possible. They encourage the baby to latch on to the breast within the first hour of birth, and have a lactation consultant on staff.
La Leche League is an international group that works both in the basic one-on-one support new moms may need and is the first to speak up for the rights of breastfeeding moms and their babies. Even if your hospital isn't supportive, you can find someone nearby from LLL who is.
People wonder why breastfeeding needs this much help. Isn't it natural, instinctual? The answer is yes and no. New moms from my generation may have never seen breastfeeding before. They may feel uncomfortable with the concept. Much of breastfeeding is in your head, and if you're not relaxed, it'll be much harder. Babies also have to learn it, and without the guidance of a mom who knows how it works, the baby also may be frustrated and unable to latch.
All of this is easy for me to say now, having never tried it. I feel rather confident in my abilities here because my mom had such an easy time of it. My pregnancy has been as easy as hers so far, so I'm hoping my luck and genes hold out. I did see my mom breastfeed while I was growing up and I don't think I have any hangups about it. I've read 3 books simultaneously on the subject so I already feel like I'm prepared. Yes, I'm keeping in mind that nothing is as it seems and I should be prepared for all eventualities.
I plan on discreetly breastfeeding in public as well. I registered for a breastfeeding cover, which is basically a cloth worn on a hoop around your neck, to shield the nursing baby and breast from public view but still allow eye contact between the two of you. Hopefully I'll feel comfortable enough to do this most anywhere. Personally, I wish for a world where breastfeeding didn't have to be covered up at all, but I'm willing to make concessions for a world still recovering from the silliness of anti-breast thinking.
Even so, I can't say I fall on the activist side of things. I think my upper age limit for breastfeeding is much lower than some. If I do have a hangup, it's that when a child can actually talk and request breastfeeding, it's kind of weird. I know that many moms feel differently and that's fine...and I just might change my mind, but that's my current feeling.
Some women boycott Nestle because they do their best to sell their formula to third world countries where the water supply is very dangerous to babies. Free samples go to new moms and the doctors get endless freebies and incentives to push the product. Yes, some moms can't breastfeed, but proportion of bottle fed to breastfed is extremely high, as is the infant mortality rate due to bad water. The reports on this are not good and I'm not happy about it...but I admit, I've never been good at full boycotts. I will say that I can never look at Nestle the same way again, and given the choice, I will probably buy something else.
In the end I treat it as a simple decision, not a political statement. Breastfeeding is preferable. I will try my best to make it happen. If it doesn't work, we'll try something else, whether it's pumping my milk for bottles or going for formula. As the books say, you do the best you can for your baby, and that is always good enough.
It's taken a long time for breastfeeding to make a full comeback, to the point where you can find hospitals who support it fully. It sounds crazy to me, but for an entire generation of women and their babies, breastfeeding wasn't only a socially awkward option, it was also not the medically sanctioned one.
I'm sure there are still hospitals that go by the old routine - baby is born, taken to the nursery, given a bottle of formula on the nurses' schedule. It's just easier for a large institution to do things their way. They can keep closer tabs on the baby, and the formula fattens the kid up much quicker than breast milk.
I've talked to moms from my parents' generation who say that nurses talked them out of breastfeeding, and read about an era when only 20 percent or less of babies were breastfed. Even in recent years, you might have a nurse who supported breastfeeding, and a doctor who didn't - and you'd have them whispering in your ear, "don't listen to that other person, this is what you need to do."
Now, there is so much support. Our hospital's standard operating procedure involves couplet care, where the baby stays with mom the entire time, if possible. They encourage the baby to latch on to the breast within the first hour of birth, and have a lactation consultant on staff.
La Leche League is an international group that works both in the basic one-on-one support new moms may need and is the first to speak up for the rights of breastfeeding moms and their babies. Even if your hospital isn't supportive, you can find someone nearby from LLL who is.
People wonder why breastfeeding needs this much help. Isn't it natural, instinctual? The answer is yes and no. New moms from my generation may have never seen breastfeeding before. They may feel uncomfortable with the concept. Much of breastfeeding is in your head, and if you're not relaxed, it'll be much harder. Babies also have to learn it, and without the guidance of a mom who knows how it works, the baby also may be frustrated and unable to latch.
All of this is easy for me to say now, having never tried it. I feel rather confident in my abilities here because my mom had such an easy time of it. My pregnancy has been as easy as hers so far, so I'm hoping my luck and genes hold out. I did see my mom breastfeed while I was growing up and I don't think I have any hangups about it. I've read 3 books simultaneously on the subject so I already feel like I'm prepared. Yes, I'm keeping in mind that nothing is as it seems and I should be prepared for all eventualities.
I plan on discreetly breastfeeding in public as well. I registered for a breastfeeding cover, which is basically a cloth worn on a hoop around your neck, to shield the nursing baby and breast from public view but still allow eye contact between the two of you. Hopefully I'll feel comfortable enough to do this most anywhere. Personally, I wish for a world where breastfeeding didn't have to be covered up at all, but I'm willing to make concessions for a world still recovering from the silliness of anti-breast thinking.
Even so, I can't say I fall on the activist side of things. I think my upper age limit for breastfeeding is much lower than some. If I do have a hangup, it's that when a child can actually talk and request breastfeeding, it's kind of weird. I know that many moms feel differently and that's fine...and I just might change my mind, but that's my current feeling.
Some women boycott Nestle because they do their best to sell their formula to third world countries where the water supply is very dangerous to babies. Free samples go to new moms and the doctors get endless freebies and incentives to push the product. Yes, some moms can't breastfeed, but proportion of bottle fed to breastfed is extremely high, as is the infant mortality rate due to bad water. The reports on this are not good and I'm not happy about it...but I admit, I've never been good at full boycotts. I will say that I can never look at Nestle the same way again, and given the choice, I will probably buy something else.
In the end I treat it as a simple decision, not a political statement. Breastfeeding is preferable. I will try my best to make it happen. If it doesn't work, we'll try something else, whether it's pumping my milk for bottles or going for formula. As the books say, you do the best you can for your baby, and that is always good enough.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Waddling along
Something changed in the last day or so.
The waddle is in full swing. My steps are small and slow. I almost want to take a video of me walking just to have it for posterity.
My lungs are more than cramped. I felt winded all day today. In talking to patrons at the library I had moments where I felt I didn't have the breath for my usual spiel. Forget "everything in moderation", now it's "everything in slow motion."
People are noticing. My coworkers like joking about it because I used to walk quickly everywhere I went, as if there were fires to put out. I think it's funny too - and especially funny how I've accepted my new body's limits without too much mental strain.
All this put me in the mood to delegate today. I am starting to peel off the layers of duties I've accumulated at my job over the years and hand them off. For instance, when I had to face a weekly task that involves much stooping down to low shelves today, I turned to a coworker and passed it on. I had thought I could continue to do this for a while yet, but today has disproven that. Check, another thing off my list. No guilt or worry involved, everyone can pick up the slack, because I sure as heck can't. Thankfully, my awesome coworkers are ready to catch all that I drop.
Sure, I'm not the person I was 6 months ago, or even 2 months ago. I'm not supposed to be, and I know it. Being restrained like this is practically an out-of-body experience. I see myself sauntering down hallways I used to speed through...and it feels normal. Much like how in a dream one would accept walking through a river of chocolate pudding.
Speaking of dreams - my vivid dreaming made a comeback. Last night I had a complete dream involving NASA's recent discovery of water on the moon, involving drilling for water, creating robot-run farming, encasing the moon in an envelope of air and establishing a human utopia there. When I woke up, I had to work to convince myself that moving there wasn't an option for us and our new baby. (With geeky sci-fi dreams like that, maybe the name should be "Tiberius" after all.)
Anyway, my tiredness and generally wheezy disposition come at an annoying time. Tonight we attend our first childbirth class, put on by the hospital. I'm excited to see what their procedures are and get that much closer to a delivery room mindset. Older friends and family assume it's a Lamaze class, younger ones ask what methodology they use, and while I'm sure it's a combination of things, I have to admit that I don't know exactly and we'll have to see.
At least it will involve lots of sitting down, which I could use.
The waddle is in full swing. My steps are small and slow. I almost want to take a video of me walking just to have it for posterity.
My lungs are more than cramped. I felt winded all day today. In talking to patrons at the library I had moments where I felt I didn't have the breath for my usual spiel. Forget "everything in moderation", now it's "everything in slow motion."
People are noticing. My coworkers like joking about it because I used to walk quickly everywhere I went, as if there were fires to put out. I think it's funny too - and especially funny how I've accepted my new body's limits without too much mental strain.
All this put me in the mood to delegate today. I am starting to peel off the layers of duties I've accumulated at my job over the years and hand them off. For instance, when I had to face a weekly task that involves much stooping down to low shelves today, I turned to a coworker and passed it on. I had thought I could continue to do this for a while yet, but today has disproven that. Check, another thing off my list. No guilt or worry involved, everyone can pick up the slack, because I sure as heck can't. Thankfully, my awesome coworkers are ready to catch all that I drop.
Sure, I'm not the person I was 6 months ago, or even 2 months ago. I'm not supposed to be, and I know it. Being restrained like this is practically an out-of-body experience. I see myself sauntering down hallways I used to speed through...and it feels normal. Much like how in a dream one would accept walking through a river of chocolate pudding.
Speaking of dreams - my vivid dreaming made a comeback. Last night I had a complete dream involving NASA's recent discovery of water on the moon, involving drilling for water, creating robot-run farming, encasing the moon in an envelope of air and establishing a human utopia there. When I woke up, I had to work to convince myself that moving there wasn't an option for us and our new baby. (With geeky sci-fi dreams like that, maybe the name should be "Tiberius" after all.)
Anyway, my tiredness and generally wheezy disposition come at an annoying time. Tonight we attend our first childbirth class, put on by the hospital. I'm excited to see what their procedures are and get that much closer to a delivery room mindset. Older friends and family assume it's a Lamaze class, younger ones ask what methodology they use, and while I'm sure it's a combination of things, I have to admit that I don't know exactly and we'll have to see.
At least it will involve lots of sitting down, which I could use.
31 weeks
Click the photo for a bigger version, as usual. (This resized image came out small this time but I don't have the time to fix it this morning!)
Plenty of people are saying now that I'm not very large for 7 months along. I think that when you lift the shirt you can see that it's proportionately large for my small frame. However, I'm not prone to do that in public. The other aspect is that the belly is tight and dense. I'm all baby (and baby-related tissues). People are surprised when I mention that I've gained almost 20 pounds.
Had a lovely time at my first baby shower last weekend. Everyone is so generous and sweet. I'm beginning to churn out the thank you notes, though I do take time on each to make sure they're genuine. I better get them done this week because I'll have another batch to do after next Sunday, and another the week after that...
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving
I want to wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving. There has been so much loving support for us during this crazy time and I'm beyond thankful for all of you. Many thanks to those who simply read this blog - it gives me a fun outlet and your encouragement keeps me going. I'm about to enter the barrage of baby showers and holiday occasions where I get to see as many people as I can in person, and I can't wait. I'm already thankful for my full schedule, both this weekend and throughout December.
More updates soon. Have a lovely holiday with family, friends, and good food!
More updates soon. Have a lovely holiday with family, friends, and good food!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Head first
Visited the OB yesterday. The basics look good, I gained a few pounds, blood pressure normal. He asked me how often the baby moves, and when I let him know it was at least once every couple of hours he was happy with that. If the baby goes quiet for 4 hours I'm to try get him to move by drinking juice or pushing on the belly a bit, and if he's still quiet I should visit the hospital. No worries there. I have a feeling he moves much more often than I indicated to the doctor, though on days where I'm moving around a lot I tend not to notice his movements as much.
We heard the whoosh whoosh heartbeat on the doppler again, which he said sounded strong and at 144 bpm, normal. Then he briefly switched on the ultrasound. Not an amazing view for us this time, but he saw everything clearly, and told us that the baby is now head down. This is great news. At least for now, I don't have to worry about when he'll turn, or if he'll turn. It is possible that he'll flip himself around some more but still, head down is good.
This month wasn't as big of a growing month as I thought it would be, and the evidence that it wasn't all in my head started to mount as I hit my latest milestone. The reactions of strangers has shifted. Now when I say I'm at 6 months, the response is "you're still so small!" Yes, I am, though I've gained about 15 pounds so far...anyway, I know that everyone goes at their own pace and growth spurts are different for each kid. The doc affirmed this for me.
He also went over some of the basics on when to go to the hospital, and his stance on epidurals. First, go to the hospital when the pain becomes too much to handle at home, regardless of dilation or time between contractions. I've heard many others tell stories of being turned away at the hospital due to not being far along enough, but this hospital did seem small enough that this wouldn't be an issue....plus, I have a pretty decent pain threshold, I think. In any case, I don't think I would stay at home if the pain were too much to bear anyway. Regarding pain relief, he wants the whole process to be as positive as possible. If you spend hours upon hours in awful pain it's not going to make for happy memories. He says it'll be up to me whether I need it or not, but his basic recommendation is that I have an epi early in order to allow me to save my strength for the final pushing. (Epidurals last for 2 or 3 hours.) All will be decided at the time.
So, no new tests, and the only homework I have is to sign up for birthing classes...and take it easy.
---
Here are links to the registries:
Babies R Us
Target
And here are some sellers I've seen on Etsy that I dig...not to say we need these things, I just want to give an idea of the kinds of styles we like.
Gifts are fully appreciated but never necessary!
We heard the whoosh whoosh heartbeat on the doppler again, which he said sounded strong and at 144 bpm, normal. Then he briefly switched on the ultrasound. Not an amazing view for us this time, but he saw everything clearly, and told us that the baby is now head down. This is great news. At least for now, I don't have to worry about when he'll turn, or if he'll turn. It is possible that he'll flip himself around some more but still, head down is good.
This month wasn't as big of a growing month as I thought it would be, and the evidence that it wasn't all in my head started to mount as I hit my latest milestone. The reactions of strangers has shifted. Now when I say I'm at 6 months, the response is "you're still so small!" Yes, I am, though I've gained about 15 pounds so far...anyway, I know that everyone goes at their own pace and growth spurts are different for each kid. The doc affirmed this for me.
He also went over some of the basics on when to go to the hospital, and his stance on epidurals. First, go to the hospital when the pain becomes too much to handle at home, regardless of dilation or time between contractions. I've heard many others tell stories of being turned away at the hospital due to not being far along enough, but this hospital did seem small enough that this wouldn't be an issue....plus, I have a pretty decent pain threshold, I think. In any case, I don't think I would stay at home if the pain were too much to bear anyway. Regarding pain relief, he wants the whole process to be as positive as possible. If you spend hours upon hours in awful pain it's not going to make for happy memories. He says it'll be up to me whether I need it or not, but his basic recommendation is that I have an epi early in order to allow me to save my strength for the final pushing. (Epidurals last for 2 or 3 hours.) All will be decided at the time.
So, no new tests, and the only homework I have is to sign up for birthing classes...and take it easy.
---
Here are links to the registries:
Babies R Us
Target
And here are some sellers I've seen on Etsy that I dig...not to say we need these things, I just want to give an idea of the kinds of styles we like.
Gifts are fully appreciated but never necessary!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Regarding Registries and Reviews
I've been extremely busy the last few weeks. My free time was transformed, my thoughts were hijacked, and my conversation skills have diminished. I have been swallowed by the world of the Baby Registry.
Before I even began, I thought I had an inkling of how this would go. Back in 2002 Greg and I learned what being a married couple would REALLY be like by forcing ourselves to work together to choose our registry items. I can't count how many times we went out there with that barcode gun, quibbling over style and color, function and value. Before this duty was thrust upon us, all of our items were hand-me-downs, and our personal style was something we rarely discussed. It would have been more depressing than anything, mentioning what we liked but couldn't afford. Sure, our sessions with the Rabbi helped us understand the challenges of married life, but learning to mesh my more whimsical style with his more classic underpinnings did far more to make the place into OUR home. (I'll never forget the generosity of those that gave us all those wonderful things - it was a dream come true.)
Since baby stuff is a whole new realm for us to knock heads on, I flashed back to those days. I thought that the meat of the problem would be our own preconceptions of child rearing and style choices. What I didn't realize is that it wasn't us against each other anymore, it was us against the absolute mountain of options.
---
If there were any doubts that I'm a nitpicky, anal retentive, indecisive perfectionist, my experiences in registering have washed them away.
I imagine that things were different 15 years ago. You went to the store, you chose what you wanted. Perhaps you bought an advice book or spoke to experienced parents first, but in the end, you looked at stuff and decided it was a probably a functional/quality/necessary/cute item and it would be nice to receive as a gift. Beep goes the barcode scanner.
What I'm sure most (normal) people don't realize is that today it's far easier to get lost...stuck in details...wander in the mist and question one's own self-worth while grappling with the all-encompassing questions, such as "will my baby prefer a safari or a woodland creature theme?"
There are So.Many.Choices. I almost wish there were fewer, as it was all those years ago. Sure, the high chair tray took two people and at least one bruised finger to unlock, the seat was designed to ensnare crumbs and grow fungus, and the kid outgrew the thing immediately, but at least you only had one choice, right?
(By the way, if you haven't read Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely, as well as all those other current books about decision making, I recommend them.)
Even as the products have more and more killer features (wait, you mean I can get a high chair lets go of the tray with one hand operation, adjusts for height, reclines, wipes clean, and encourages the digestion of peas??) there are always different features for different products.
Baby bottles are a good example. There are three basic options to start - glass, plastic, or plastic liners. (Quick aside - pretty much all plastic baby bottles are BPA free these days. BPA was the big "bad for baby" scare in the past couple of years, and the dust has settled, so plastic is again accepted as a safe choice). Here's the rundown: Glass is easy to clean thoroughly, and there is no doubt that it is 100% non-toxic, but it weighs a ton and can break when dropped. Plastic bottles are lightweight and shatter proof, though some warn that you never know what chemical will be called out next. Plastic liner bottles are the most sanitary of all (being brand new every time) and much less washing is necessary, but you are buying and tossing a bag every time your baby needs a drink.
My very personal, very subjective take: Glass will shatter on our tile kitchen floor (and perhaps take a tile with it) and I have no large fears about the future toxicity of plastics. I dislike throwing away a bag for every meal, and I have no issues with washing bottles. Sounds easy, right? There, done, plastic it is!
See, but that's just level one. Your princess is in another castle.
Now it's time to tackle brand names. To figure out what's best for colic, for gassy tummies. Some brands have special vents that go on before the nipple, but washing them can be a pain. Some brands have special nipple shapes to supposedly mimic breastfeeding. I even found some new-fangled bottles that, I kid you not, look a little too much like the real thing. And of course there's always price to consider...
So, how do you decide what's important to you, when you've never washed a bottle, and your baby can't yet opine on which nipple they prefer? You read reviews.
---
Reviews sound pretty straight forward. Either the product works or it doesn't. But after reading a few dozen reviews a few trends become clear.
First, no matter how many people say the product is awesome, there will always be a few outliers who hate it. I mean, HATE IT. After 8 reviews in a row saying the item is great quality and lasts forever, there will be one saying "fell to pieces when I assembled it, unsafe, would never let a child near it". After 10 people claim their babies fell asleep fast, one will say "my kid did nothing but scream, terrible product, this other one is much better."
The worry is that you may have more in common with the one outlier family than the other 85% of of the population. The best you can do is try to figure out, by the way the mom describes herself and the product, whether you can trust their point of view. For instance, if they use ALL CAPS, poor grammar and no punctuation, it's a clue that this person may not have the smarts to assemble a sandwich, never mind a complicated piece of furniture.
There's often a bit of give and take to the reviews, as some people post just to respond to others, saying things like "I don't get why there are so many negative reviews, these work fine if you just close them properly" amidst a few others yelling back, "THERES NO WAY TO CLOSE THESE WITHOUT LEAKS!!! DONT WASTE YOUR MONEY!!!!"
And of course, if they use "lol" in their review at all, their opinion is instantly discounted.
My absolute favorite reviews are from people who have NEVER USED THE PRODUCT. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. "I bought this for a baby shower, it's very cute, my friend loves it." "The bag seems to be high quality, I can't wait to use it!" This might actually be acceptable for certain items, but the very best of these are for items that you simply can't judge before use...like mattresses. If the baby hasn't slept a night on it, how can you judge it?
Here are some actual quotes from crib mattress reviews.
"it looks to be very firm and comfortable. we are expecting our first child this october."
"Ordered this from the website, but not expecting the baby for a few months yet."
"Looks and feels nice, highly recommenended by sales staff"
"Has a great coil count. Don't know how it will all translate once the baby arrives."
Some at least mention that it fits well in the crib, which is somewhat helpful if you've bought their crib brand...but then there's the best one of all:
"We have not put together our crib yet, so I'm not sure how snug it will fit, but I hope it does. Hence the 4-star rating."
These are direct quotes, people.
---
Now that this is done (or rather, done for the moment, I'm sure we'll have to go back and register for more items) I can feel the gratitude already washing over me. I now have a basic list of all the things I'll need to make this process easier, and my amazing friends and family are going to consider buying them for me. I'll even get lots of fun things I haven't asked for (but that every family wants) - books and toys and adorable clothes and things I can't even imagine. As I have been reminded of over and over again throughout this pregnancy, I am one of the luckier people on this planet. All the silly reviews and obsessive nitpicking can't affect that.
---
If you'd like to see the results of all this, the registries are at Babies R Us and Target. Just do me a favore and don't read too much into the choices.
Before I even began, I thought I had an inkling of how this would go. Back in 2002 Greg and I learned what being a married couple would REALLY be like by forcing ourselves to work together to choose our registry items. I can't count how many times we went out there with that barcode gun, quibbling over style and color, function and value. Before this duty was thrust upon us, all of our items were hand-me-downs, and our personal style was something we rarely discussed. It would have been more depressing than anything, mentioning what we liked but couldn't afford. Sure, our sessions with the Rabbi helped us understand the challenges of married life, but learning to mesh my more whimsical style with his more classic underpinnings did far more to make the place into OUR home. (I'll never forget the generosity of those that gave us all those wonderful things - it was a dream come true.)
Since baby stuff is a whole new realm for us to knock heads on, I flashed back to those days. I thought that the meat of the problem would be our own preconceptions of child rearing and style choices. What I didn't realize is that it wasn't us against each other anymore, it was us against the absolute mountain of options.
---
If there were any doubts that I'm a nitpicky, anal retentive, indecisive perfectionist, my experiences in registering have washed them away.
I imagine that things were different 15 years ago. You went to the store, you chose what you wanted. Perhaps you bought an advice book or spoke to experienced parents first, but in the end, you looked at stuff and decided it was a probably a functional/quality/necessary/cute item and it would be nice to receive as a gift. Beep goes the barcode scanner.
What I'm sure most (normal) people don't realize is that today it's far easier to get lost...stuck in details...wander in the mist and question one's own self-worth while grappling with the all-encompassing questions, such as "will my baby prefer a safari or a woodland creature theme?"
There are So.Many.Choices. I almost wish there were fewer, as it was all those years ago. Sure, the high chair tray took two people and at least one bruised finger to unlock, the seat was designed to ensnare crumbs and grow fungus, and the kid outgrew the thing immediately, but at least you only had one choice, right?
(By the way, if you haven't read Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely, as well as all those other current books about decision making, I recommend them.)
Even as the products have more and more killer features (wait, you mean I can get a high chair lets go of the tray with one hand operation, adjusts for height, reclines, wipes clean, and encourages the digestion of peas??) there are always different features for different products.
Baby bottles are a good example. There are three basic options to start - glass, plastic, or plastic liners. (Quick aside - pretty much all plastic baby bottles are BPA free these days. BPA was the big "bad for baby" scare in the past couple of years, and the dust has settled, so plastic is again accepted as a safe choice). Here's the rundown: Glass is easy to clean thoroughly, and there is no doubt that it is 100% non-toxic, but it weighs a ton and can break when dropped. Plastic bottles are lightweight and shatter proof, though some warn that you never know what chemical will be called out next. Plastic liner bottles are the most sanitary of all (being brand new every time) and much less washing is necessary, but you are buying and tossing a bag every time your baby needs a drink.
My very personal, very subjective take: Glass will shatter on our tile kitchen floor (and perhaps take a tile with it) and I have no large fears about the future toxicity of plastics. I dislike throwing away a bag for every meal, and I have no issues with washing bottles. Sounds easy, right? There, done, plastic it is!
See, but that's just level one. Your princess is in another castle.
Now it's time to tackle brand names. To figure out what's best for colic, for gassy tummies. Some brands have special vents that go on before the nipple, but washing them can be a pain. Some brands have special nipple shapes to supposedly mimic breastfeeding. I even found some new-fangled bottles that, I kid you not, look a little too much like the real thing. And of course there's always price to consider...
So, how do you decide what's important to you, when you've never washed a bottle, and your baby can't yet opine on which nipple they prefer? You read reviews.
---
Reviews sound pretty straight forward. Either the product works or it doesn't. But after reading a few dozen reviews a few trends become clear.
First, no matter how many people say the product is awesome, there will always be a few outliers who hate it. I mean, HATE IT. After 8 reviews in a row saying the item is great quality and lasts forever, there will be one saying "fell to pieces when I assembled it, unsafe, would never let a child near it". After 10 people claim their babies fell asleep fast, one will say "my kid did nothing but scream, terrible product, this other one is much better."
The worry is that you may have more in common with the one outlier family than the other 85% of of the population. The best you can do is try to figure out, by the way the mom describes herself and the product, whether you can trust their point of view. For instance, if they use ALL CAPS, poor grammar and no punctuation, it's a clue that this person may not have the smarts to assemble a sandwich, never mind a complicated piece of furniture.
There's often a bit of give and take to the reviews, as some people post just to respond to others, saying things like "I don't get why there are so many negative reviews, these work fine if you just close them properly" amidst a few others yelling back, "THERES NO WAY TO CLOSE THESE WITHOUT LEAKS!!! DONT WASTE YOUR MONEY!!!!"
And of course, if they use "lol" in their review at all, their opinion is instantly discounted.
My absolute favorite reviews are from people who have NEVER USED THE PRODUCT. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. "I bought this for a baby shower, it's very cute, my friend loves it." "The bag seems to be high quality, I can't wait to use it!" This might actually be acceptable for certain items, but the very best of these are for items that you simply can't judge before use...like mattresses. If the baby hasn't slept a night on it, how can you judge it?
Here are some actual quotes from crib mattress reviews.
"it looks to be very firm and comfortable. we are expecting our first child this october."
"Ordered this from the website, but not expecting the baby for a few months yet."
"Looks and feels nice, highly recommenended by sales staff"
"Has a great coil count. Don't know how it will all translate once the baby arrives."
Some at least mention that it fits well in the crib, which is somewhat helpful if you've bought their crib brand...but then there's the best one of all:
"We have not put together our crib yet, so I'm not sure how snug it will fit, but I hope it does. Hence the 4-star rating."
These are direct quotes, people.
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Now that this is done (or rather, done for the moment, I'm sure we'll have to go back and register for more items) I can feel the gratitude already washing over me. I now have a basic list of all the things I'll need to make this process easier, and my amazing friends and family are going to consider buying them for me. I'll even get lots of fun things I haven't asked for (but that every family wants) - books and toys and adorable clothes and things I can't even imagine. As I have been reminded of over and over again throughout this pregnancy, I am one of the luckier people on this planet. All the silly reviews and obsessive nitpicking can't affect that.
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If you'd like to see the results of all this, the registries are at Babies R Us and Target. Just do me a favore and don't read too much into the choices.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
In the clear
Just a quick update to say yes, I got the vaccine, and yes, I am fine, no reactions. I'm glad that's all done.
I'll post something soon about the madness of registering for baby stuff. At least, I'll get around to posting it when I get mostly done with registering! It eats up a lot of my free internet time.
I'll post something soon about the madness of registering for baby stuff. At least, I'll get around to posting it when I get mostly done with registering! It eats up a lot of my free internet time.
Monday, November 2, 2009
H1N1 vaccine - for me, at least
I've been checking with my provider once in a while to find out if they have the H1N1 vaccine yet, and they don't. They also have no clue when they'll get it and no way to let me know if they do, so I was told to keep checking.
I was sticking with this method because I didn't want to use up a free clinic spot. I have insurance so why not use it? There are people who are at risk who have no other option, and I didn't want to take it away from someone else.
Thing is, the free clinics have been the only place to get them, and the roll-out to the rest of us has seen delays. (This is all California - things are different in other states.) Drug stores have been promised them, providers have been promised them, (I believe Kaiser did get some, but we're with Aetna) and nothing is happening yet.
Today there was a big news item saying that pregnant women only need one shot of the vaccine for it to be effective. Seeing this I knew I should act faster to get it. The more press this gets the longer it will take to get the shot.
I checked with Aetna's site which only said that wherever I get the shot, I will be compensated, but that they aren't the ones offering it. Since there seems to be no other choice at this time, I checked out the public clinic situation.
I found an appointment-based program for pregnant women. I called, sat on hold for less than 10 minutes, and got an appointment for Wednesday, first thing in the morning (I'm hoping that means no delays). So much easier than I thought it would be, after seeing the reports of long lines and places running out.
We're going to try get Greg an early shot as well, based on a few factors. If you are caring for a child less than 6 months old you're another front of the line candidate. Not sure whether that includes in utero, but having a pregnant wife should count for something.
Again, it's a bummer that I'm "taking a shot away" from someone who really needs it for free, but I've seen enough about the risks to feel more secure getting this done ASAP. I have close contact with dozens of people every day at our very public desk - otherwise, I might feel ok waiting for my provider to catch up.
I was sticking with this method because I didn't want to use up a free clinic spot. I have insurance so why not use it? There are people who are at risk who have no other option, and I didn't want to take it away from someone else.
Thing is, the free clinics have been the only place to get them, and the roll-out to the rest of us has seen delays. (This is all California - things are different in other states.) Drug stores have been promised them, providers have been promised them, (I believe Kaiser did get some, but we're with Aetna) and nothing is happening yet.
Today there was a big news item saying that pregnant women only need one shot of the vaccine for it to be effective. Seeing this I knew I should act faster to get it. The more press this gets the longer it will take to get the shot.
I checked with Aetna's site which only said that wherever I get the shot, I will be compensated, but that they aren't the ones offering it. Since there seems to be no other choice at this time, I checked out the public clinic situation.
I found an appointment-based program for pregnant women. I called, sat on hold for less than 10 minutes, and got an appointment for Wednesday, first thing in the morning (I'm hoping that means no delays). So much easier than I thought it would be, after seeing the reports of long lines and places running out.
We're going to try get Greg an early shot as well, based on a few factors. If you are caring for a child less than 6 months old you're another front of the line candidate. Not sure whether that includes in utero, but having a pregnant wife should count for something.
Again, it's a bummer that I'm "taking a shot away" from someone who really needs it for free, but I've seen enough about the risks to feel more secure getting this done ASAP. I have close contact with dozens of people every day at our very public desk - otherwise, I might feel ok waiting for my provider to catch up.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
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In the pink
Hasty post! Been incredibly busy! I have so many beautiful baby blankets that were lovely gifts for Theo. That's what happens when y...
